Last December, on my birthday in Ras Shetan, I had my tarrot cards read. I was told I would have a fruitful year, that new life would come into my family. I was told there would be love. There would be success. There would be realization of direction and meaning.
I remember feeling happy that day, feeling bright and cheerful about 2009, with open arms...I waited like it would seriously be a year I will never forget, in a good way.
I always thought I wouldn't get to this age, I always lacked the imagination beyond college, hell two years into it kaman. I thought ya, sure I wanna be a journalist. But i never imagined living to graduate or to work, and even now, to marry and become a mother. BUT...I always knew, that 23 would be my year. I would be at the top of my game.
Recalling new year's eve this year, and what a disaster it was and how pathetic I felt that night, and alone and angry and weak, and wondering if this is the perfect ending for 2008. Kanit sana bent weskha.
On the 1st of January, 2009, I had an awesome day, I got a new job, my mom was in town, I had missed her so much and I was feeling like I have this family again. We even had turkey this year. Mom is never around for christmas to cook turkey.
I have at least one blog entry for every month to date. I have had severe ups and downs, I got very sick and recovered. Lost my job, and got a new one. Fell out with friends and made new ones. and got sick again, and lost some more friends.
fe3lan...this year gave me strength. This year I went through about, urm, 2 beautiful months I will never forget, 4 really HORRID depressing and truly unhappy ones, and 3 stable, successful months, the 4th of which is almost half way through.
I was blessed with new life into my family. I even realized how much I want a family of my own too.
I am finally doing something I enjoy, and feel accomplished doing it.
I wrote some of my best and worst. I gained courage and acceptance. I am regretting far less things with far less frequency.
Up until maybe May, I kept wondering how this is my year. By July I figured, hmm, dee bent weskha heya kaman...In September, I didn't think much of it.
Last week, I reflected and really smiled.
Imbari7, I thanked God, I breathed with relief, and I felt overwhelmingly blessed.
Last month, In Ras Shetan, I had my playing cards read. I was promised a wish coming true. I was told I will be okay... That I will hear good news soon. Love was almost a certainty even..
Wallahy wi malo...khir..kolo khir..
Fee nas keteera fashkh halit 3alaya ma3 2009, and I love them.
Ya rab te3ady 3ala khir.